dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
