i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
