he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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