The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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