you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
