My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
