Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
