after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sext me about skeletons
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
