She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
