Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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