He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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