The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
