the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
