Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
