one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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