i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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