Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
