so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
