we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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