thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
