imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
