Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
