last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
