better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
