I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
