i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I enjoy the company of your penis
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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