@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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