Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
