Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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