my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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