is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
