I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
