How'd it feel making her break her religion?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
