Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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