Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
