how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
