thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
