The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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