I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
