Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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