You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
