shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
