Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
