I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
