And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
