this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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