"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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