Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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