last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
