dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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